When I reviewed this video of U.S. Sen. Mark Udall praising Colorado Gov. Bill Ritter, I felt like the little kid in a candy store staring at the shelves and feeling overwhelmed with options (of course, if I were a kid now I couldn’t get as much candy because I would have to start paying the Ritter candy tax).

One at a time:

“I’ve watched a lot of people throw rocks at him, literally.”

Literally? Did I miss that news article? I’m pretty sure I would have heard if we started stoning our elected officials. That’s taking partisanship to a really unhealthy level.

“Our Republican friends are often against four letter words.”

Yes, I am against all four-letter words. If a word has three or five letters, I’m cool. Four? I am against it. Here’s a four-letter word I really dislike, DEBT, as in $12.4 trillion.

“At this point in time [Republicans] have trouble with the word ‘math’.”

Do you mean that, LITERALLY?

“I want to thank [Ritter] . . . for being able to add and subtract…”

I can add and subtract. Can I be governor?